Yes I’m going there. Why? Because it’s a touchy subject and a lot of people have a hard time with it. More importantly however, the likelihood of me getting or loosing a client because of this blog is minimal, but the likelihood of this blog doing a lot of good for all of you out in cyberspace is GREAT. So let’s give it a shot, entertain some friendly debate and come to some conclusions.
When I first started in this industry, a lot of my first clients were friends. There was a little bit of potential energy building around me because I was just graduating, getting married, and yes – my Real Estate license. So a fair amount of people were seeing me quite often and on good terms – so the idea of having me help them buy or sell came into my sphere of influence’s head more so than otherwise. Bing Bang Boom, few deals here and a few deals there – and I had learned a tremendous amount in a very little span of time.
I was able to help some of my friends get some incredible homes, in great neighbourhoods, and for a bargain. I’m talking about homes that were 10% under what was the perceived market value, and sometimes more. I found unique units, perfect combination of features, and coordinated the whole shebang to a T.
Some of my other friends pulled a 180 on me, and used my services for a while (one was two weeks, and another FOUR months for example), and then for some reason distanced themselves and ended up getting a backdoor deal done through someone else! I was really mad about it at the time, and to be honest I think I am still a little bitter, but like I have said time and time again – when something goes wrong, look in the mirror for the solution. There is nothing wrong with not getting the deal, as long as you learn from it – and here is what I have learned:
- Friends and Business blurs the line between a business and friend relationship, and you have to put extra attention into making them as distinct as possible. When you go out with your friends to dinner or over for some drinks – don’t be a douche and talk work the whole time. I’ve done it once or twice (because I love what I do, and people naturally are always asking about the industry), and it kind of steals from the friendship moment and turns it into a conference. Now the same goes the other way – and this is what is important. When you are WORKING for a friend, don’t be their friend the whole time, and be the Business Professional they respect and were hoping to engage. If you smell something funny in a house, or see something strange – save the stupid jokes for after hours when a good meal, drinks and hindsight go hand in hand. What you run the risk of doing is turning the work time into a hang out session, which again, blurs the lines.
- Its OK not to get friends business. Do I want it? More than anything! That’s why I got into this industry – to HELP and do incredible work – who better for than the ones I like the most? So far it has gone well every time with my friends and I always feel like I am top of a mountain afterwards. Do I expect it? No, I don’t. And you can’t. Friends have hesitations about using friends for business. They have other friends or family members that might be able to help, or maybe they want to do the job themselves – and that’s OK. It’s a fact of the matter that you will not get 100% of your friends business, and you are just going to have to learn to roll with it. If you can’t – your career will suffer. This is a business of thick hides, and those that have thin ones will get burned very quickly and end up leaving. If you begin to alienate the people closest to you in your life then all other aspects in your life will suffer. Here is my trick: Treat your friends as your SUPPORT GROUP – not your client base. While they certainly CAN be a source of business, you should look to your friends for mutual support. They will be able to give you honest criticisms, advice and yes – referrals. Who better to help you build your business than your support group! This actually reminds me of a story a good friend of mine told me in high school. This girl was a very good friend of mine, so much that we would hang out all the time, talk on the phone all the time, and even take the same classes together. Now despite the fact that she was very beautiful, this was a strictly plutonic relationship – and I learned from it! I remember one day she found out that another good guy friend of hers was only friends with her because he wanted something ELSE from her (wink wink). She was so upset because this whole time this guy had perpetrated to be a good friend when all he wanted was to get in her pants. DON’T BE THAT PERSON. If you are only friends with people to get into their WALLETS – then you will come across as a perpetrator and alienate these people.
- I am a RESOURCE – not a one-stop-shop of an answer for the problem of the day. What I mean is, my services are many, my services are unique, and my services cover a wide range of areas. If you treat yourself like a resource then you will start to open up opportunites for yourself and for your friends that you did not see before, and you will learn that you can help every single one of your friends without having to make them CHOOSE you, but rather, go THROUGH you. Going through you can be consultation, advice, opinions, a DEAL, direction, information, referrals to other professionals – whatever. Be dynamic, be valuable and be relevant – you will see that there are many ways that you can help, and they don’t all include your exclusive services.
- Other ways to get business. Now for you Realtors reading this, you might be thinking: “But what about making any money?” Ever heard of referrals? If your friend doesn’t want to use you – refer them to someone they will use and get a referral cut! Take the high road and make sure they get the best agency possible! Maybe you can refer them to another professional for a client down the road. Maybe you can just HELP your friend (crazy concept, isn’t it?) and be the really nice guy that made it all go smooth and who happens to be available to that friend’s OTHER friends and family should they want to engage you for a full commitment!
My philosophy: Chase good business, not paycheques. Why? Because good business will go much further than your next paycheques will.
Thoughts?
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